Crises in the Surroundings-Draft One
Crises which always hide in our surroundings are pretty danger. One day, Ben played with his friends under the tree. Because of his mischievousness, he climbed the tree. There was a jar under the tree that he was climbing. Suddenly, an emergency took place to Ben, he fell into the jar. His friends felt panic and flocked around the ceramic water jar. But they did not know how to save him. At that time, the two big boys carried a big stone to break the jar. After the jar was broken, Ben slipped out of it. Thanks to the two big boys' help, Ben was rescued. We should be careful about crises in our surroundings.

6 Comments:
"Because of his mischievousness"
"mischievousness" is strange. Writing "mischief" is better.
Danger is everywhere in the world.
We should be careful all the time.
I agree to 美萱.
We should learn how to protect ourselevs.
*His friends felt panic and flocked around the ceramic water jar.* should change to *His friends were panic and flocked around the ceramic water jar.*
There are dangers everywhere.
We should play in a secure place.
It's very important for us to play carefully.So we can have a good vacation.
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